i miss them

4th day in kampar...

I'v no idea what i'm doing ...

what i know??

busy lo...rushing for classes...

prepare this and that...

and the thing that i hate...

i mess up my room ....!!!!

arrrrgggh~~~

last night ...

do nothing...cause...

feeling not well....

can't go to meet up my group-mate...

sleep the whole night...

lucky I'm fine...

haiz...

last night...while struggling...

whether to go OPS GEGAR...

very stress while i received a msg at 6pm...

scared!!!~~ and i promise to attend...

but...i think i really can't handle another part...

called to my sister...

telling that I'm come back this week...

tear just drop down...

i can feel myself very nervous..

cause I'v do nothing for the test yet...

and i know...

i miss my family...

always happen when i'm lack confident with something..

especially in my test!!!~~

haiz....

finally i make up another new decision..

pull out myself from the event!!

i know maybe i will miss out something...

but God...

i really hope You can speak with me...

please ~

i miss my family~~

getting slower

*pic taken when I'm going up to a mountain

sometime we will never be prefect...

just like the road...

we will break out rule ...

we will hurt others....or we hurt others..

we will lost in our-self...

but i believe this...

God will always lead us to make our life ...

prefect!!!!

cheer up all friends!!! :)

**even i'm quite blur right now!! : D

suppose i should wake up at 8am...

but i continue my dream...

end up is a bad dream...

my body is sweating...

end up i realize...is 10am....

ah....no more for next time...

lesson of the day: 

when awake means awake...

no more continue for dream...

cause it may be a bad dream!! 

i realize this...

after cny....

lots peoples fallen sick...

ya I'm one of them...

and...

some peoples getting better than last time...

some getting emo...

some getting busy...

some getting crazy...

and me??

(look at the sky beside my bed**)

LOST!!!!

hahah....cause i just woke up....!!

but i realize one thing...

getting LAZY....

getting SLOW....

I'm no longer active....

i think i'm still recovering from sickness...

and ya....

I'v totally lost ...

in my new sem...

haha...maybe i miss up the 1st 2 weeks...

and now entered week 6....

omg....

that is not a joke at all...

assignment ...tests....all come together...

is a hard week...

hope i can cope with that....

all my friends...

gambateh

the weather make peoples emo!! haiz~

morning

Morning everyone~~

em...have good sleep huh everyone!!

ya...me?still fine...still alive!!

but my body muscle is not good!!

maybe yesterday cough too much!!!

ya...too much di....

anyway....i felt better now...

Thanks for all the caring call and msg!!

TERIMA KASIH!!!~~

well...found out some special msg send by others...

ha...ya...maybe just bullshit...

but...it make up my day too~~

hahaha...check it out~

msg make me laugh!!!

"I saw you on MSN spaces today, i'm new though.

for my first time i was searching a friend, n

the moment i saw ur pic, i just couldn't pass it.

i must confess you're beautiful.

Just wish we could be friends."

 

msg make me feel I have my own style!

"I really like when people are expressing 

their opinion and thought. 

So I like the way you are writing"

ya....i know most of you are laughing ....

ya....but i like the 2nd msg....

it encourage me lots...ha~

realize i miss out lots of posts....

especially post on my sister wedding ....

cny post....

cameron post...

holidays post....

ya...

my Cdrive no more space...

it just fulled of pics...

haha...is time to clean up~~

have nice day....

just to make fun for today!!

I can see the sTar

*pic taken in Marudi...somewhere on the mountain!

just nice to show how i feel now...

cause i totally out of mood...

because....

I"M SICK

why is't sTar??

cause i felt pening since thursday!!!

and all scary sickness come out...

one by one....(sound like ghost story huh!!)

swt~~

anyway...since i can still make joke means i'm fine??

nope!!! totally NOT!!!

fever came 1st ....then Sore throat...then flu...

lastly now...the one kill me lots....COUGH!!!

since last night...nonstop coughing until now!!

yesterday morning...went to old town coffee shop...

can you imagine...i fall sleep there???

yes....i admit it....i really fall sleep there?....

just after i taken the medicine bought from my auntie!!

quite scary....cause the medicine make me....

felt....differently...even can see the sTar!!

it doesn't make me feel better....

but ..... pening...sleepy!!!

and finally i slept in the coffee shop....

ah....1st time i do that!!!

shame!!!!!!!~~~

even i still chat with my friend in msn...

i didn't reply them....

just lay on the chair and ....SLEEP!!!

ahahahah.......malu-nya!!!

anyway...

my friend said this:

 " aiya shirley...God is very fair!!!

during cny...u enjoy...

so now after cny u should suffer!!!"

haha...even i quite agree with this...

but...can choose to say NO??

cause i gonna die because of cough!!!

please....i want my healthy body back!!!

my brain is not functioning i guess~

Why U treat me like that???

**pic taken when I went to Marudi~

WHy???

why you dare to treat me like that???

do you know that i love you??

i will miss you when you are not around me??

i love to be together with you....

everywhere...anytime...

i love you more than anyone else...

do you know that you had HURT me??

do you know???

why you suddenly don't want to border me anymore??

WHY???

you just ignore me!!!

do you know that I"m very sad!!!

i try to use all the ways just wanted you to answer me...

but WHY???

why you don't want to look at me??

why you just TURN OFF like that?

I'm very sad you know....

cause i need to spend RM135 to make you return to me...

do you think that you are very BAD??

you wants me to pay money....

just to make you looking at me again???

 

HOW DARE YOU .....W595

well....all my lovely friends...

actually I'm talking about my new handphone!!

it happened ....

after my nap this morning...

after I registered for my 1st passport!!

and i ready for HAT YAI trip this cny!!!

yahoo~~

lastly ....

wish all of you....

happy CNY!!!

gonna miss you guys....

and.....share with me your ang pao too~~

hahaha....

will update soon when I'm free!!

haha...love you all~~

valentine....hope i can get a rose!!

hahaha....

all my friends....you all know lah huh!!

swt~~

enjoy your holidays ya!!

*hope i can get back my phone later!!

X.O.X.O

pic taken when my 1st flight to Marudi~

and now...packing all my things....

packing up all my bad emotional....

throw it away...before i go home~

and now...

I am the brand new ME!!

haha...

hope will enjoy during my cny!!

gonna meet up all old friends...

*hope can meet them up!!

since this year I'll be around in seremban!!

....ya..i will be back to puchong!!!

gonna have great time with my family...

forget about the sad story...

and roar for tiger year!!!

hahaha...yeah~~

**Thanks to all my lovely friends....

I love the small gift from you all!!!

and you guys...very funny....

trying to make me happy with different way...

last night everyone just so funny~~haha!!

but i want to say this:

"I'm very glad to have you all ..."

and i will keep on remind myself...

whenever i sad...

i still have you!!!

Thanks for being in my life!!

last night....i just felt like Christmas 

haha....

lots santa came to my house!!!

well....gonna miss all my friends in kampar..

and ya....will be back after one week...

wish u guys all the best in 2010 cny!!!

make sure you all bring me some nice food after cny!!

haha...

lastly....

I love you all~~

x.o.x.o

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

**muack!!!!

and now sent your wishes to me!!!

enjoy my holidays right now~

I'm sorry

*pic taken by my best friend~Kahyee!!

nice take huh!!~ yeah n i like it!!!

recently happened lots of things....

and is just so dramatic ...

and even I'v been so Emo for quite sometime...
just because of those dramatic happens...

even I'm trying not to show off how i feel...
why?????

cause i don't want anyone of my friends worry about me...

and yet...still... i make some of you guys worried!!

but what i want to say is
: "Sorry Friends!!! I'm very sorry!!!please forgive me!"

maybe... everything started up...just  because of me?

I realize that... and i felt that...6 sense?!

I'm not a person that can cope well when things happen...
I admit it~~

I will just get crazy...screaming...jumping!!!~

all this until ....last night~
I've long conversation with my sister...

she had showed me lots of my mistake..

that I didn't pay attention on with...

when things happen...I just cried...Emo...

but I didn't try to handle it!!

but still..... I hope that i can help everyone!!

main reason are because I love all my friends...

not even one will be lefted out from my life!~

and yet I want to tell my lovely friends who worried...

: "I'm Fine right now~"

even sometime when i think of ...

I'll still be sad...but...

I you guys make me remember that
I have lots friends supporting me out there...

Thank you FRIENDS!!!!

and there's the words from a friend that really hurt me lots...

i know he/she not purposely ...

but i just want "you" to see again what you had wrote...

to reflect back again...

am i really that kind of person??

am i  really that bad that you mention ??bad friend?

you know what??

I'm totally blank...when you sent me this msg in msn...

I don't know how to reply you...
not because of what!!!
i just got shock!!!!that you will think that I am that!!!

and  I start wondering...

am I really that bad that you mention?

am I really never appreciate what you help?

is it that I'm not good enough?

but i believe if we continue to fight up...

there will be never end!!....

I very hope ...you can just calm down...

take sometime to think about...

Is't your friend~ Shirley ... just so bad that what you mention!!

Is't Shirley forget you??

**I not sure whether you will read my blog...

but i really hope you will read my blog...

at least you know how I feel!!!

at least you know how deep you had HURT me!!

and you wrote this to me:

## u guy will only looking for me when need help
 when exam... especially
 and forgot me all the time
 untill u need my help again
 well.. mayb i don mind of this
 so this time u ask me help again
 ok.. i help.. but.. please~
 when i help u guy, pls appreciate!
 but who else appreciate?????
 no one!
 i really tired of this!
 i don feel to help anymore
 i wanna quit of this
 sorry.. apologize for wat i done to make u sad
 but im really tired
 tired of always forgotten##

but...friend...i should say this:

"even you thought how bad am I now...

still...I believe that you have your own reasons..

I can't force you to do anything right now!!

but what i wanted to say is...

I hope you still the same...

and I believe you are!!!

as how the 1st time I knew you!!!

I really appreciate with what you had helped me!!

and I never forget you!! 

I will always think of you when there is anything!!

I don't expect anything from you!!

but....

I hope you will think of me...
and stand on my shoe too~"

to understand how I feel....ok?

 

i hope you never change!!!

Downward

maybe I'm too easy to trust others...

maybe I never experience before..

maybe in my life...i never face it before...

maybe I'm always in the safe zone...

and i can't believe that all this will happen in me~

even this incident is not directly pointing at me...

but still ...it happen to the peoples around me...

and yet...i started to realize...

The world is really different with what I always expect...

when I see the real site of it...i will never  know how to face it~

always..i think the peoples that i know...is my true friend

they will never make use of me...

they will never hurt me...never bluff me...

but...i really cannot accept that one day it will happen to me~

I'm always use my true heart to be your friend...

but why you will do all this to my friend?

friend...

is the word that i love...

cause friend is the person that i need when I'm not at home...

friend is the people that can help me when i needed...

friend is to share my joy...sadness...anger...

friend is to make myself proud...

because I have a great friend...

but today...

what you have done...your attitude...everything...

had make me truly disappointed...

with how well I trust you before this...

I'm very sad right now...

before i went to Cameron...

i already heard about that...

but still i believe that the story is not totally true...

until today i realize I'm wrong!!!

and you really HURT me a lot!!!

just feel like you have been using me 

to making yourself how great you are in-front of others 

the worse is...you trying to get something from your friend...

i can't imagine that you will act like that...

you acting how well you are in-front of others...

and hurting another behind of others...

and there is a question in my mind...

Is it Money is more important than a friend?

can you please tell me?

you trying to ignore what I'm telling you...

but ...I wanted to say...

even you hurting others...trying to get benefit...

i really hope one day ...

you can just return to the day that i know you before...

i really hope you will really see ....

the friendship is not measure by money...

if it is what you really wanted too...

I'm really disappointed!!!!!

I'm really sad right now...

came back from Cameron...

I'm actually highly motivate to share my great time there...

but now...after i knew what you have done...

totally spoiled my MOOD!!!!

and one of my friend asked me to meet you up...

you know what?

I not dare to see you...

not because i don't want ....

cause your attitude had make me scare of you!!

cause i will not accept that ...

a friend of mine...will CHANGE ...

because of money...

and only focus on payment...

never think off others...

and you know what...

i really felt so wrong with what i done before..

i couldn't do that...

if I'm not...you will not change!!!

hope you can repent!!!

realize...peoples around me...

getting very emotional...

that time I'm still fine between them...

but now...

because of you....

my mind had totally DISTRACTED!!

pray for you my friend...

hope the bad emotional...

i can solve it~

I need a friend to help now~

sad*

*1st time i experience that a friend 

of mine will not think from my shoe

is me!!!!

** likes this pic very much~

just look so real of me!!!

person who like to make Fun in life always!!

and ya....

i just came back from cameron 3 hours ago...

and now is 2am ....

and promise with a brother for jogging at later7am

hope i can wake up at 645am later!!!

and hope 11am assignment meeting i will still be AWAKE!!

and heard from my brother said:

"you been sooo busy for this semester!!!

can you just make yourself to rest??"

**that's when he heard that i came back from cameron 

after i came back from sarawak 2 days ago...

and...i wanted to say ....

i love life that full of things that waiting me to settle...

rushing over and traveling around is FUN

even is tired....

 but unless i'v no time to think any others not necessary issues

anyway....is 2:10am....

I'm hungry!!! if someone can ask me for Ghany

THAT WILL BE AWESOME!!!!

but is impossible right!!!!

cause is late night....

anyway...i've leaving my lovely BLog FOR....

very very long huh!!!!

and today i'v the mood to write something here...

and and and....

recently....

seeing lots new couples....

and i shall say....

blessing be with both u all!!!

hope soon i can post up my sis wedding post...

i'v lots great story to share during the wedding...

peoples i met up during the wedding...

great experience with my 1st flight in life....

and how busy am i during the preparation period....

i love to share....

if you willing to listen...

i will be very happy~~~

and i know....

you are ..right???

soon after my sis wedding will post up my trip in cameron!!!

trip that i went today!!!!

a great visiting to BOH TEA factory!!!

and i'v learn lots during the interview section!!!

and last....before i sleep.....

I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!

night night***