unknown

slept this morning at 1am....

went home after finale meeting...

i'm totally blank...sat in front of my desk...

I do nothing....just sat there for few minutes....

then i decided to sleep....

till 6am...my alarm rang....

and i off it...continue to sleep until 7am...

ah.....i think I gonna SICK!!!

i can felt the heat is inside my body right now!!

headache....i can see *** star ~

well...this morning...I'm totally not fine at all...

physically...mentally...spiritually...

ah...i guess I'm totally crash by a big ROCK...

from some where....that unpredictable...

well well...I can't even talk well...

emotional getting very Down....

that is the signal before Sick??

ya...i guess partially....

but there is one thing I'm thinking about....

when we hurt someone...what will we do??

or anyone hurt us...what will we do??

em...shall think about that seriously...

Today....I keep on thinking about this...

am i such a person that like to "help" others?

even others didn't ask for??

and he or she will think that ....

I'm taking over he or her job??

well....I guess I don't have such high Ego about that...

I don't ever think about that....

i just simple mind set to help up!!!

BUT ....i never expect this will happen...

and i can felt that...the Gun...

is all the way pointing at me...

and started to SHOOT at me!!!!!!!!

ya...maybe words can release anger....

but those words had already offense others....

how??? can anyone tell me??

do you ever think that i like to be busybody to find work?

I can choose not to DO ANYTHING!!!

I can choose to be SILENT!!!

and you know what???

I'll choose to be Silent for next time...for u...

I think that is the best one???

but...another side of me tell me this...

: "you should not do that!!!"

ya....there's always black and white angel in us...

but...finally...I choose the white angel...

cause I remember this...

one day....

I will get the Praise from the King of King!!

someone asked me....

I didn't see you ???

well....but i know that...

God see me!!!

I don't need anyone see me!!

I need to make sure God seeing me!!!

that is the most important thing...

someone asked me.....

why do you like to helping around?

are you pastor? 

well...that make me think off....

sometime will felt upset when no one appreciate...

but....when i ever see...

people's i helped...

they gain back Joy...love...

that is the most greatest present for me~

what shall i ask for again?

maybe i shall not be so -ve thinking...

cause that don't look like me at all...

but...i know that...

i need to CHANGE!!!

maybe i need to learn...

how to use a better way to help...

instead ...it will not offense anyone again...

but sincere in my heart....

I just wanted to help...

and I'm not asking for return .....

cause I know...God love me!

peoples will forget me easily...

peoples will just give a simple words to me...

to say: nevermind...

Is harsh....but......I know...

"God will not made me for defeat!!!"

just so sudden....

I felt that...I'm unknown within the group!!

ya...

but I'm the wonderful daughter for God!

even the tear no one will know...

but God know....

after all things happen....

I'm still struggle whether I've made correct decision?

 but I hope that it is not....

human words will make us fall....

and give off everything...

but i know that....

God will rebuild again...my Faith ...

and i shall be strong...

I pray for the Joy in me..

I pray that God will heal the broken heart...

 I feel the tears......

and Lord....comfort me with Your peace...

Maybe people will only remember me...

when they needs help...

when they are in trouble...

but I know that ...

God will always be with me...

no matter what situation I am....

sometime....being Unknown is good too...

no one realize your effort....

but God do.....

I do not ask for what....or gift...

 Don't say sorry after you have whack on me!!

even I can be nothing...or trying to forget...

but....that is seriously affect me!!!

I have being so down for so many hours...

and that had totally make me lost my passion on the very moment....

anyway.....

I think my skin is still TEBAL...

i will still Face everything....

and i know...

Everything...will make me GROW!!!

i really hope that ...

my santa pooh can talk to me...

then i will definitely cheer up...

final is coming...

I'm totally in the stress now...

many things need to study....

struggle.....

I hope i can cope with all the difficulty....

and i need to LOVE LIFE....

i need to live happily...

for those childrens that unable to live...

i shall not think of all things that affect me...

i should sing chipmunk x'mas song....

i should eat more apples before i fall sick...

I should just be myself....

without anyone concern...

cause...I am who I am....

I am ....LIONESS SHIRLEY!!!!